Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
