some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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