is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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