i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
