no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
