it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize