So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Randomize
