CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
