Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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