I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
