Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize