No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
