That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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