he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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