you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
