escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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