I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think my vagina is haunted
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
