you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
