you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
