Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
