there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
