Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
