I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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