Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
