She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
