its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
