i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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