what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
