your parents love me but you hate me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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