That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Pants are for mortals
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
