i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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