out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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