yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
