dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
