shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
