you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I will pee on everything he values.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
