it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
