Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
