yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
