never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
