We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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