I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
