I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I AM VODKA MAN
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
