you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
