i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
