If i come over, it means nothing
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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