I hope my margaritas pass through security.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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