playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
