At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
