So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
