omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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