I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
