We're facebook friends in real life
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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