he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was confusing and full of hummus
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I got inside last night via doggy door
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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