she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
