i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
