mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
