Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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