i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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