my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
