Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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