You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
