Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
