And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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