When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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