walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He has the fingertips of a God
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