...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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