Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
send nudes
from the living room?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
