Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
