I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
